In each century of our human history, there is some kind of a war or a battle. World War I & II were major conflicts that everyone knew about. Every race battles because there is a conflict, or they want to prove that they are stronger than anyone else. The Western race, throughout human history, seemed unsatisfied with what they have. They would try to conquer and conquest, doing every bit of damage along the way. There are small battles and conflicts even within the very place we live. Everyday we see someone fighting, either in person or in television. Everywhere there is conflict that needs to be solved, either it be a small fight between friends to battling leukemia. It’s constant, unstoppable, never ending. And there is that on going battle with our own selves, which we have to deal with every day.

As I wake up in the morning, I have a conflict of whether or not I should do the things I normally do, wear the things that I like to wear, and say the things that seems to be right for me. There is always my opinion and theirs, which is when I have to decide who is right and who is wrong. The biggest challenge, the most important battle, that I always have in mind is the amount of food intake, the amount of exercise I need, and what kind of activities I should or shouldn’t do. I know this sounds ridiculous; but hear me out. Every person has different things that worry them. And for me, it has always been about my external appearances. This could be because I am living in a society where people are judged by how they appear. Or maybe, it’s just me being unsatisfied with who I am. But this battle is hard. The things I choose to stick my fork into and put in my mouth is thought over every other second, and I cannot undo this overcoming concern of appearance. Maybe this is because I’ve been judged a lot by how I look–ever since I was in the States, I was prejudged because my skin color was different. And because I was young, all I could conclude was that I was never good enough. No matter how skinny or how fat, it wasn’t good enough. This never ending battle with myself will hopefully end soon. Hopefully I will learn that I am who I am, that accepting myself is the first and the most crucial step to a successful life. But I’m not there yet. Just like the battles around the world are hard to stop, the battle with myself is hard to bring to an end, too.

Photos credited to: bye bye ????, LeggNet

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