&art.designcindyoh on 21 Oct 2007 01:51 am

When
When fear was in charge
Of my life-river,
The Ocean of Infinity
Was a far cry.
When doubt was in charge
Of my life-day,
The Sun of Eternity
Was a far cry.
When insecurity was in charge
Of my life-breath,
The Sky of Immortality
Was a far cry.
Excerpt from “The Wings of Light Part 1” by Sri Chinmoy
Copyright © Sri Chinmoy 1975
Of my three thematic pathways, this would go under the category of “Faith and Doubt”. This is a fairly straightforward poem about what happens when fear, doubt, and insecurity get in life’s way. I chose this poem because I loved the connection between the Ocean, the Sun, and the Sky’s image in their infinite characterization. In the human eye, the ocean, the sun, and the sky are the three biggest phenomenons we could ever witness–and thus it creates an illusion of eternity. However, this poem is telling us that fear, doubt, and insecurity will destroy all that, and will leave us with nothing. I also liked the desperate, moody tone of this poem, as it repeated the word “when” a lot and “Was a far cry” at the end of every stanza. It really brought out the emptiness that fear, doubt, and insecurity creates when it takes over us.
Now, take a step back for a moment and hear these words: “The Ocean of Infinity…The Sun of Eternity…The Sky of Immortality…”. I thought that these three description was very powerful as it rang again and again in my brain. Whenever I go to the ocean or near an ocean, I cannot fathom how deep and vast the body of water is. And it brings me a kind of fear when you get when speculating about the unknown. Just like the enormous, mysterious ocean, I think fear comes from the mysterious, unfamiliar aspect of what we don’t know. When seeing a scary movie in a movie theater, we get scared because we see images that are unexpected (of course, gruesomeness plays a huge role, too). Fear definitely has its connection with the ocean.
And finally to the topic of doubt. Doubt is a huge factor in my life that might have changed who I am if I had a little less OF it. What I mean is, when doubt comes into my conscious and plays with my mind, on whatever I was doing or working on, I cannot find the confidence back to finish it. When one begins to doubt oneself, one can seriously fall into a spiraling hole of negativity, and cannot do anything one has dreamed of. Okay, I’ll give an example, because I think I’m being too vague here. Right now I am in a volleyball team in my high school. Of course volleyball needs a lot of physical endurance just like any other sports. We have to practice every day in hopes of improving our performances on game days. But it is also a mental sports game, too. Because volleyball is so interconnected with every member on the court, one mistake by one person can end up making the whole team down, thus losing the game. As the ball passes back and forth above the net, so does our mood swings. But what finalizes our mood is how much doubt we have in ourselves. Or how much confidence we have in ourselves. Either way, if we have too much doubt in our ability to play as a team, no matter how good we are, we lose as a team. And as we gain more confidence and less doubt, it seems like we consummate as a whole and beat the opponent as a whole. Maybe this is why volleyball is a game that really needs the time and effort to be liked.
Oh, I’m deviating from the topic too much. But this poem had triggered a lot of thoughts at once, and I think that’s what the poet wanted our minds to do when we read his poem.
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